Ok, this is too great and I have to write it down before I forget. Last night Chase was sooooo tired and very near melt down mode, and I was trying my hardest to get him into bed. He went to brush his teeth. Before I got in there, I heard him softly whining/lamenting to himself. I hurried to see what was wrong. This is what my six year old kindergartener said to me, " Mom, I am just so tired of work. I really just need a day off. I really just need a vacation." Work, a day off, vacation??!!?? I usually do pretty well, but this time I could not keep a straight face. The kid has been out of school more than in the past few weeks because of his sickness.
He then shared his concern that all that schoolwork was using all his brain power and there would be none left. I told him his brain was like his muscles and the more you exercise it the stronger it becomes. He still assured me that he needed a vacation. I guess Kindergarten is more strenuous than I remember. Mary Beth, you were right Chase is a great source of blog material.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Clarification
First of all, thanks everyone for your prayers and support. We humbly ask you to keep them up until Noel is legally ours. We firmly believe they will make all the difference and do not mind talking about what is going on or if you pass our prayer requests along. We do, however ask that you not bring this up in front of Chase. He has many of his dear mother's personality traits, two of them being a tendency to worry and the need to know what is going to happen. He doesn't do well without a plan. ( I will post a prime example of that from this past weekend asap) I wanted to clarify the previous two posts after speaking to our attorney. I was confused so I am sure everyone else is too. Basically, here is what is going on in short form:
Our attorney was able to find the bio father despite the bio mother's desire for her not to. Bio father is in prison and was contacted via mail that if he thinks he is the father of this child he must respond in writing to request the paperwork to gain status as the child's legal father. [To establish paternity, you simply have to show that you share DNA with the child and a biological father has no rights to the child. A biological father would still have to try to legitimate the child and go to court and show that it is in the child's best interest that he be declared the legal father. Only a legal father has rights, such as custody, to a child.](from our attorney) That is what is happening now. He was given the instructions to and a deadline for establishing those legal rights. We are waiting to see if he files that paperwork properly and within 30 days from when he receives it. If not, his case is dismissed and we move on to the final step of legally adopting Noel. If so, he must come up here and convince a judge it is in Noel's best interest that he have a legal right to him. Hopefully, that didn't confuse things more. Long story short, we just have to wait.
Our attorney was able to find the bio father despite the bio mother's desire for her not to. Bio father is in prison and was contacted via mail that if he thinks he is the father of this child he must respond in writing to request the paperwork to gain status as the child's legal father. [To establish paternity, you simply have to show that you share DNA with the child and a biological father has no rights to the child. A biological father would still have to try to legitimate the child and go to court and show that it is in the child's best interest that he be declared the legal father. Only a legal father has rights, such as custody, to a child.](from our attorney) That is what is happening now. He was given the instructions to and a deadline for establishing those legal rights. We are waiting to see if he files that paperwork properly and within 30 days from when he receives it. If not, his case is dismissed and we move on to the final step of legally adopting Noel. If so, he must come up here and convince a judge it is in Noel's best interest that he have a legal right to him. Hopefully, that didn't confuse things more. Long story short, we just have to wait.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Addendum
I just spoke with our attorney. The biological father on the last day possible did respond to the letter and requested the necessary paperwork to legitimate Noel. Now what seemed like a formality is something much scarier. She keeps assuring me that this is much better than this coming up later. The fact that the birth mother was so adamant he not know is the piece that keeps bothering me...she had to have her reasons. This will not be resolved quickly. He will have 30 days from the time he recieves the paperwork to respond. Please pray that God's will for that precious baby be done.
It's probably nothing...
This woman is ferocious
I have a confession to make. I have been worried because I feel very differently about Noel than I did Chase during this stage of babyhood. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing because Chase made me feel totally anxious 24/7, but in that anxiety there was another feeling of what I can only describe as "mama bear". By that I mean just an intense desire to protect at all costs that I literally felt as an emotion. In all likelyhood there are several reasons to feel different this time around. I don't have all those pesky pregnancy hormones remaining in my blood stream, Noel doesn't have reflux and therefore does not scream constantly, and he is the 2nd child, giving me a sense of confidence because number 1 and I have come this far relatively unscathed.
Don't get me wrong, I love him and he has been MINE since we got that phone call Christmas morning. I just didn't feel that raw intensity like the first time around. Notice I said didn't. Noel's birth mother, was adamant that the biological father not be identified or contacted, she only gave our attorney his first name and mentioned he was in jail. Because our lawyer is very good at what she does and legally needs to leave no stone unturned, she was able to do some sluthing and make a good guess at the bio father's identity. Turns out she guessed correctly and he was given a legal notice that his rights were being terminated.
Last night I received a call from the birth mother who was absolutely distraught he had been contacted. She had led him to believe the pregnancy was terminated and had adamantly expressed her unwillingness to name him to our attorney. She was not angry at Chris or I but asked me to have our attorney call her. I did as she asked. The necessity of contacting him was explained to her, but I don't think that made her feel any better. I know that this was the best thing for us because if he were to find out later he could make a case to get Noel back, but I just feel really bad for the birth mom. I don't know what they were, but she definitely had her reasons for not telling him. This has had to be so hard for her and I feel like it just got even harder.
It is likely a good thing the bio father was found at this stage in the process, but it scares the hell out of me. This is the first hiccup we have experienced in this process. Our attorney assures us that this is not a problem and even if he wanted to legitimate he would have to prove he would be a better parent than we are. No easy task from a prison cell.
So, it's probably nothing, but...the mama bear is back. I am trying not to worry and put my trust in God, but worrying is my nature and apparently so is that inherent need to protect MY children at all costs.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Just an FYI
Here are 2 things a person should not say and why...
1) Go ahead and use a lot of soap because you are really dirty.- You should at least not say this to a 6 year old boy. Purple foam soap...the better part of an entire can... everywhere.
2) I will just throw these ear drops away because that little episode is behind us. - Not behind us, not behind us at all. A look of "why" from the Pediatrician and another $10 copay.
Yes, Chase was off antibiotics a whole two days when the other ear started hurting. It was infected and the right ear hadn't cleared up like it should have.
On the Noel front, he is quite the little night owl. We cannot keep him awake in the early evening and then he stays up until Midnight. The good news is he sleeps a good 5 or so hours from then on. I just can't hang in there until Midnight.
1) Go ahead and use a lot of soap because you are really dirty.- You should at least not say this to a 6 year old boy. Purple foam soap...the better part of an entire can... everywhere.
2) I will just throw these ear drops away because that little episode is behind us. - Not behind us, not behind us at all. A look of "why" from the Pediatrician and another $10 copay.
Yes, Chase was off antibiotics a whole two days when the other ear started hurting. It was infected and the right ear hadn't cleared up like it should have.
On the Noel front, he is quite the little night owl. We cannot keep him awake in the early evening and then he stays up until Midnight. The good news is he sleeps a good 5 or so hours from then on. I just can't hang in there until Midnight.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Boo Hoo Flu!
I am not a germ-a-phobe. In fact, I have been known to say, "I am not afraid of germs". But, after nursing Chase through this terrible flu that is going around only to return to my job and find it has hit our campus in epidemic proportions, I AM afraid, very afraid.
The flu hit Chase hard and fast. I literally had to wrestle him into bed on Tuesday night because he was bouncing off the walls, only to have him come into my room running a high fever at 5am. He and Chris were planning on going skiing with our church's youth group that upcoming weekend so I scheduled a Dr.'s appt. 1st thing hoping to nip whatever this was in the bud. We saw a new pediatrician in our practice who assured me what he had was viral and I needed to just keep him comfortable. He just got sicker and sicker and sicker. On Friday when he said his ear was hurting, I made yet another call to the doctor and got an appointment with our regular pediatrician, whom I LOVE.
She took one look at him and said he has the flu. I told her he had gotten the flu shot but apparently the shots are not effective this year. She looked at his ears and informed the tube in the left ear was out (the other doc had told me he could see the tip of it). His right ear was draining fluid (he had informed me of this fact when we got out of the car and in the same breath insisted he did not need to see the doctor) because his eardrum had ruptured. Yes, that is apparently as painful as it sounds because he was miserable. She was not sure whether she could see the tube in that ear or not but she doubted it was in place since that ear had become infected.
Keep in mind this was at about 4:30 on Friday and the trip Chase had been looking forward to for 2 months left at 7:00am the next morning. I had already told him he wasn't going to make it this year, and while he was very disappointed, I think he knew he was too sick to go too. He did , however, keep moaning loudly "Why did God send me these germs?" The real catch is, the church was counting on Chris to be a chaperone so he was still obligated to go.
My mom just happend to call as we were leaving the doctor's office and she decided to head on down from Charlotte right then because Chase sounded so pitiful. He would not go to bed though until she got there so we all had a late night. Once again, over the weekend I was in awe of single parents. I have said it before and I will say it again, I do not know how they do it. If my mom had not spent the weekend with us, I don't know how we would have managed.
Thankfully, good health and the father have returned to the Lammers' household!
The flu hit Chase hard and fast. I literally had to wrestle him into bed on Tuesday night because he was bouncing off the walls, only to have him come into my room running a high fever at 5am. He and Chris were planning on going skiing with our church's youth group that upcoming weekend so I scheduled a Dr.'s appt. 1st thing hoping to nip whatever this was in the bud. We saw a new pediatrician in our practice who assured me what he had was viral and I needed to just keep him comfortable. He just got sicker and sicker and sicker. On Friday when he said his ear was hurting, I made yet another call to the doctor and got an appointment with our regular pediatrician, whom I LOVE.
She took one look at him and said he has the flu. I told her he had gotten the flu shot but apparently the shots are not effective this year. She looked at his ears and informed the tube in the left ear was out (the other doc had told me he could see the tip of it). His right ear was draining fluid (he had informed me of this fact when we got out of the car and in the same breath insisted he did not need to see the doctor) because his eardrum had ruptured. Yes, that is apparently as painful as it sounds because he was miserable. She was not sure whether she could see the tube in that ear or not but she doubted it was in place since that ear had become infected.
Keep in mind this was at about 4:30 on Friday and the trip Chase had been looking forward to for 2 months left at 7:00am the next morning. I had already told him he wasn't going to make it this year, and while he was very disappointed, I think he knew he was too sick to go too. He did , however, keep moaning loudly "Why did God send me these germs?" The real catch is, the church was counting on Chris to be a chaperone so he was still obligated to go.
My mom just happend to call as we were leaving the doctor's office and she decided to head on down from Charlotte right then because Chase sounded so pitiful. He would not go to bed though until she got there so we all had a late night. Once again, over the weekend I was in awe of single parents. I have said it before and I will say it again, I do not know how they do it. If my mom had not spent the weekend with us, I don't know how we would have managed.
Thankfully, good health and the father have returned to the Lammers' household!
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Monday, February 4, 2008
The Lecture
Ok, we did have a wonderful weekend, but there was some negativity, and it deserve it's own post. On Friday night,Chase managed to overhear a conversation between his dad and I regarding POTENTIALLY selling our house to buy something larger. He got very upset and said he didn't want to move and so on and so forth, but then something else came along and he dropped the issue. Flash forward to Sunday morning after church when I am squeezing my hand between a booster and a carseat to buckle Chase in (not to mention my big a** in the backseat with them), and I say off handedly..."We really need a bigger car."
Chase went off. He informed me we were not getting a bigger car or a bigger house. That all I wanted to do was waste money and I wasn't being thankful for what I had. He was absolutely on a rant. He went on and on for 20 minutes. I know, what kind of parent let's their 6 yr. old lecture them for 20 minutes, but you would just have had to see how impassioned he was. It was so funny too because he was using phrases from lectures Chris and I had given in the past about being thankful and not wasting money. My thoughts were alternating between pride (some of what we have been saying is getting through) and shame (my 6 yr. old is lecturing me) as he went on and on.
All in all it was a humbling 20 mins. I honestly try to be an example when it comes to being thankful for my blessings. Do I need to work harder? This whole story is tempered by the fact that earlier that morning Chase had coveted a toy on a t.v. commercial. When I reminded him of that fact during my lecture, he said, "Yes mom, but I only want one thing today." Maybe if I had only left it at a bigger house,it would have been acceptable???
A SUPER weekend
The Lammers family had the best weekend! I knew my mom was coming into town for the Baptism, but I figured she would probably drive in on Saturday morning. Chris and I were both dragging on Friday from our collective newborn parenting, and then at 5:30 the phone rang and my mom was only 30 minutes away! She offered to babysit while Chris and I went out to dinner, but I told here all we really wanted to do was sleep. So, she offered to spend the night and stay up with Noel! Chris and I got to sleep, all night, together in our bed. Crazy!!! Thanks mom that was amazingly wonderful.
We woke up Saturday, well rested and that was a good thing because it was Noel's Baptism day, the feast of the Presentation of Jesus. We got everything together and made it to the church with plenty of time. I changed Noel into the Lammers' Christening gown. It was hand made by Chris's great grandmother and three generations have been baptized in it. I was a little nervous that my little chubb-o might not fit in it, but he did. He began to get hungry right when the ceremony was set to begin, so I was very worried this might be unpleasant for all involved. However he took his pacifier and sucked it peacefully pretty much the entire time. I actually got to take in and enjoy the beautiful rite. It was such a stark contrast from the first time around.
I think the priest who performed Chases' baptism probably thought he was possessed he screamed so much. He wailed from before it started until long after it was finished. It in not one of my fonder memories of his babyhood. After Noel's baptism, my grandmother asked if they had added something to the ritual because Chases' was so much shorter. We decided maybe Chase got a short version because he was so, so unhappy to be there.
After the baptism, everyone went back to the lodge for a celebratory lunch. My dad and his best friends have a BBQ catering business that they do mostly as a hobby (and an excuse to get together and drink beer), so we had delicious BBQ sandwiches and all the usual sides. Chris's family had put all that part together and Jessica, the Godmother, decorated for the party. There were so many family members and friends there and it was so laid back and relaxed. I felt so blessed and loved! It was a gorgeous day and when MaryBeth and her girls got there we went for a walk on the farm in search of Buster the donkey and his cow friends. Ella was a little concerned the donkey might eat her feet, but I assured her donkeys ate grass and hay. An added bonus was that my old friend Joan had come to spend the weekend with the Blair girls and we got to visit and she got to meet Noel.
On Sunday, we went to church then to Grandma's for lunch as usual. Noel was in an exceptionally good mood. He put on quite the performance of goos and smiles. The funny thing is he mainly did it for my papa. After a while we headed home and got ready to go to a Super Bowl get together. The get together consisted of a various members of the Lammers' family and friends from church (actually most fit bothe those categories). Again, it was a laid back, stress free affair. We arrived home tired but content. The icing on the cake is Jessica spent the night and did the graveyard shift. A mom could get spoiled by this!!!
I will do my dead level best to get the pictures of this weekend up tonight or in the morning.
We woke up Saturday, well rested and that was a good thing because it was Noel's Baptism day, the feast of the Presentation of Jesus. We got everything together and made it to the church with plenty of time. I changed Noel into the Lammers' Christening gown. It was hand made by Chris's great grandmother and three generations have been baptized in it. I was a little nervous that my little chubb-o might not fit in it, but he did. He began to get hungry right when the ceremony was set to begin, so I was very worried this might be unpleasant for all involved. However he took his pacifier and sucked it peacefully pretty much the entire time. I actually got to take in and enjoy the beautiful rite. It was such a stark contrast from the first time around.
I think the priest who performed Chases' baptism probably thought he was possessed he screamed so much. He wailed from before it started until long after it was finished. It in not one of my fonder memories of his babyhood. After Noel's baptism, my grandmother asked if they had added something to the ritual because Chases' was so much shorter. We decided maybe Chase got a short version because he was so, so unhappy to be there.
After the baptism, everyone went back to the lodge for a celebratory lunch. My dad and his best friends have a BBQ catering business that they do mostly as a hobby (and an excuse to get together and drink beer), so we had delicious BBQ sandwiches and all the usual sides. Chris's family had put all that part together and Jessica, the Godmother, decorated for the party. There were so many family members and friends there and it was so laid back and relaxed. I felt so blessed and loved! It was a gorgeous day and when MaryBeth and her girls got there we went for a walk on the farm in search of Buster the donkey and his cow friends. Ella was a little concerned the donkey might eat her feet, but I assured her donkeys ate grass and hay. An added bonus was that my old friend Joan had come to spend the weekend with the Blair girls and we got to visit and she got to meet Noel.
On Sunday, we went to church then to Grandma's for lunch as usual. Noel was in an exceptionally good mood. He put on quite the performance of goos and smiles. The funny thing is he mainly did it for my papa. After a while we headed home and got ready to go to a Super Bowl get together. The get together consisted of a various members of the Lammers' family and friends from church (actually most fit bothe those categories). Again, it was a laid back, stress free affair. We arrived home tired but content. The icing on the cake is Jessica spent the night and did the graveyard shift. A mom could get spoiled by this!!!
I will do my dead level best to get the pictures of this weekend up tonight or in the morning.
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